I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
