I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Brb crying the tears of my youth
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
