We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
