I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
