haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
