My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
