She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Randomize
