We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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