who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
