I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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