i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
