ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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