birth control should be required to get into college
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
