just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
