She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
