Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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