my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
