Whod you bang
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
