Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
