I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
