That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
