'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
did i just pee glitter
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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