I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
