btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
