I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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