dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
