A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize