I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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