Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
