No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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