the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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