You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
