just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
