Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
