the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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