Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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