There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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