i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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