dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize
