I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
