Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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