Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
