I wanna passion pit in your ass
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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