While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
