After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
