Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
