does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
