other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Randomize
