I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
