I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
