She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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