I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
