we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
