My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
