Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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